Thoughtful Thursday: How not to be a good friend.

Cynicism Warning! Highly cynnical content to follow. You have been warned!

Hello Readers,

I used to think myself filled with wisdom from others on how to find good friends. I had rules in my life given to me by older men, women, and even some my own age with rules such as:

1. Be a good friend first
2. Prize Loyalty
3. Be Trustworthy
4. Make others feel safe around you
5. etc.

This list was faulty, because I can tell you that the reality often doesn’t match the ideal.

Being a good friend first is important, because friendships and relationships aren’t about yourself; however, if you don’t treat yourself as worthwhile they won’t respect you.

My ex-wife didn’t respect me because I tried to treat her like a queen. The adage treat her like a queen and she will treat you like a king is a LIE!!! Treat her like a queen and she will treat you like a slave. Being a good friend is good, but it’s not the first thing as it will come between you and things in your life or they will abandon you…

Prizing loyalty isn’t correct. While you want to find loyal people around you people who talk too much about loyalty are traitorous at heart. They strive for loyalty, but once you are devotedly loyal to them they’re likely to stab you in the back…

Be Trustworthy, this one you can try your best to be trustworthy and try as you might it’s contingent on others and their expectations. You might be reliable, but if you don’t respond exactly the way they want you to without exception they are dissatisfied…

Make others feel safe around you is a nice ideal, but the problem with people who give themselves head trauma without your presence is that you will be the target for their conflations. Being too safe of a person makes you a threat not to their safety, but to their world view and it must come to an end at all costs…

Basically, when it comes to friends you can strive for several things…

If you like the song “Stop Arresting My Friends”, because your friends keep getting arrested justly… maybe, find new friends? If your firends get you into doing things that are a problem… maybe, find new friends? If your friends cause you to think poorly of yourself… maybe, find new friends? This should all follow talking with them first together alone, then with witnesses, and finally bring them before your church… If your friends don’t go to church with you get some friends that do. The more friends you have in church the more friends you can bring to church. Not everybody see’s their need of the savior or obediece to his command to “not forsake the assembling of yourselves together”, but he also said, “if you love me keep my commandments”. Before you claim loving Jesus and God are different remember that He and the father are one as the only man that can claim enough prophecy to be called Emmanuel, God with us.

Friends can hurt you wether for the better or for the worse; however, if they can’t hurt you they aren’t your friends and that lonely life is far worse than any wounds a friend can give.